routine

Everyday life brings all sorts of surprises, revelations, wonders, agonies, despondencies and still after the rate of our development we still do not know what the future will bring.

I wonder if maybe, perhaps, possibly, that this is the reason why we stick to routine. Perhaps we are afraid of the risks and the regret that could follow. But we do not know what will happen in the future and so why should we limit ourselves in order to ensure mistakes are not made? Rather, it seems that the whole point really is to challenge your abilities and embrace the opportunities you question.

But then again, maybe it is change we fear. Because a change in routine or the socially accepted "normality" in society scares us. I know it scares me. The possibility of the worse springs to mind, but it could also evoke inspiration and improvement in one's life. So...

What 

                              can                          

change                                     do              to       

 your

                                                                      life?

Will it bring 

happiness, happiness, happiness, happiness, happiness

 or  devastation, devastation, devastation, devastation, devastation?

I think it's worth the 

risk.                                        --

"perfection"

Yes the perfect boyfriend, or girlfriend, does only exist in books or movies, but that does not necessarily mean that this is a bad thing.

In my eyes, perfection is not true, I do not believe that there is such a thing as a perfect person; every one makes mistakes and we all learn from them, even then we still do things wrong. and there is nothing wrong with that.
Yes, perfection exists in Disney and Pixar and it belongs there; in order to deceive us into believing that life is as easy as ‘true loves kiss’, for some reason I do not know

                                               and

 it drives me

 mad.

silence

silence

Comforting yet troubling.

We find it pleasing but at the same time disturbing.

Silence brings hope, but it brings war too,

It brings me peace. Please tell me, what does it do for you?

I find silence overwhelming, but in the good sense,

But as I witness sufferings, the feel of silence is changed. Tense

Is probably the word appropriate for those awkward situations,

Right? When someone is opinionated but critical.

Too critical that it offends anyone without a brain

Because nowadays

It is cool to take no risks and drain

A life without a mind

And instead to live, with no thoughts,

No insight and just too much

Of influence combined.

Comforting, not troubling. 

I love the silence but I think we need more of it if I'm honest.

Of course, yes, it can bring violence but it can also encourage defiance

Within us and I think that is what we need more of

In this society; more deep thinking and less control from authorities above.

the pressure to be perfect

Very recently people keep reminding me how much pressure is on my back. That pressure is to do well at school; not only that but to be the best, to get straight As so i can go to the best uni. All about competition to be the best of the best. 

Why?

People expect way too much from me and in the end they are all just disappointed. I try my best, i do, but i know that my best is not always good enough. And i always think, well, what else do you want me to do? I can't do anything else to console you or live up to your expectations. 

People don't understand how difficult it is, everything piling up and parents are everything but supportive, which does not help at all, it just pressures me even more.

I think my point is really that, I am in desperate need of a long, relaxing holiday.

I am not saying I cannot deal with it because I am at the state of 'end' but it does remind me of those who suffer deeply from the mistakes made by society (society being us!!). My best friend, she used to suffer from bulimia for a while. I did not find out until probably after a few months she had first started making herself sick. This scared me very much. 

I found out on a night out, a terrible, terrible night out. We decided it would be a good idea to camp out in a field at night by a fire in sleeping bags and getting smashed. Indeed, big mistake.

My best friend had had way too much to drink and was being sick everywhere and could hardly stand. I remember seeing her stick her fingers down her throat several times and I guessed that this was a regulation in her life, unfortunately.

                                   This 

                                                       scared

                                                                                me. 

I asked her 'why?' and she said, 'I am fat' (slurring extremely, of course). From this I cried simply because she is the most beautiful person I know. She means an incredible amount to me and I don't know where I would be without her. 

There are many reasons why my best friend made herself sick and still hates the way she looks. 

1. her parents- her mum, specifically, is a lovely woman, but she is sometimes harsh on my friend and I can tell that it upsets my friend extremely. To the point where she will get into a 'depressed' state. The reason depressed is in inverted commas is because I do not know if my friend is properly depressed but I have seen her in states that worry me.
2. friends- one friend in particular, i will refer to her as 'x', is as blunt as a butter knife and because she her body is perfectly carved without effort and a size 4/6 (UK), she believes every girl of a bigger size than 6 is fat, ugly and worthless. I remember distinctively, x said 'well, obviously *my friend* thinks she's fat so maybe she should go and do something about it hahahaha'. I wanted to cry and at the same time slap x around the face. 
3. media- I think we all know what I'm talking about. Why is the media still a contributing factor for the reasons rates of bulimia/anorexia/depression/anxiety are becoming increasingly high??
4. school- we go to a school with only girls and so the pressure to look the best is stupidly high. because girls are seeing other girls with tons of makeup on, back-combed hair, the best clothes available and of course the tiniest bodies you could imagine, every one is competing with another in order to be the best, look the best, liked the most, admired the most. 

Competition. 

Always,

 so 

much 

fucking

competition.

I know too many people who have self-harmed. That's either through cutting, forcing themselves to be sick, pushing themselves to the point of exhaustion to where they cannot even function properly. Yep, I know people who have been through this. What can I do? What can we do?

There must be something we can do.

'acca-awesome'

I watched pitch perfect this morning and absolutely loved it, the combinations of songs were brilliant and the casting was excellente! Although the rival guy leader was so arrogant and the love story between the two main characters, as it were, made it seem a bit too typical, especially with the bitch girl ending up being friendly after all (I probably should have paid more attention to the characters’ names really…)

I loved it though! 

Probably because cheesy/cringey love films are my guilty pleasure.